Conflicting EMotions

When I experienced a separation, my world was shaken. Going to church the first couple of times without my husband felt weird, lonely, and embarrassing. I didn’t want to be asked about my situation, because I didn’t even know myself what would come out of this. Although I was praying we would work things out, I didn’t know how things would pan out.

At some point I thought about attending a different church or trying to avoid my church family altogether, but I knew that was a slippery slope. I knew God was the only one who could get me through this challenging time and being present at church with my church family was the best place to be at. After all, church is a hospital for the sick.

So I made it a point to sit in the same place I used to sit – in the first pew. I wasn’t going to let this shake my faith! I reminded myself that before I got married, I had a relationship with Christ, and I was determined to face this separation straight on. However, it didn’t make things any easier though. It still hurt and broke my heart. I still prayed that God would save my marriage. 

During this time when you are experiencing a separation or divorce, you need the most communion and fellowship you can get. 

However, your mind plays tricks on you. You don’t feel like being around people, much less talking about your situation. By the time people at church have noticed you are coming to church alone, something has already happened in your marriage, and it may have been months already since that happened. You do not know who to trust, what to say, how to say it, or how much to say. The most conflicting thing about it all, is that you don’t know if those around you – the pastors, church leader or and church friends will understand. 

Will they be a safe place for you? Will they be neutral? Will they keep things confidential? During this time, relationships, bonds, friendships and familial relationships will be tested. But do not get discouraged! That is exactly what the enemy wants. Wolves separate a flock of lambs because it’s easier for them to lead a lamb astray and attack them. That’s the enemy’s goal – isolate you and attack you.

So what can you do to ensure you don’t isolate while you seek God and navigate your conflicting emotions?

• Continue attending church and church activities
• Ask God to reveal who are your close Godly friends that you can confide in
• Visit with friends and accept their invitations to meet with you
• Have a prayer group
• Do something positive for yourself on a regular basis. i.e. join a gym, pick up a healthy habit, read books, journal
• Find a Christian counselor and see them frequently